I am divorced. It's been over a month since it was final. I don't have to deal with AJ at all except with the kids. It's been such a relief. There at the end things were so bad. My fog of him has been lifted & it's so night to have my own thoughts instead of his clouding my head. I hate to talk to negativly about him, but it was what it was. He needs a lot of help, and I honestly do pray that he gets help.
I know I was not perfect in the marriage, and I take full responsability for how I behaved. It was just toxic, and we did not need to be together anymore. Gage & Chloe did not need to be around our unhealthyness (is that a word?).
My life is million times better. I am running still. I did hurt myself so I did not get to run the 1/2 marathon I wanted to. I still went to support my class & I had a lot of fun being there with them. I have made some great friends around & it's really helped me get through the staleness of being single.
I am used to that now, being single. I have been on a few dates, but nothing serious. It's been almost a year since AJ and I separeted that I forget what it's like to have a partner. I have a new apartment from the one I started in. The kids have their own room, and the living room is not over flowing with toys!
Gage will start kindergarten in the fall! HOLY CRAP! He will either stay at the daycare - which has a kindergarten - or he'll go to a school by my work. He is a good kid. He does get upset when he knows he has to go to his dad's. It breaks my heart to see him upset. But I have a calendar for him, and it helps him visualize how many days until he comes back home.
Chloe is still sassy, and silly as ever. She is so smart. She chatters all the time. She is a charmer too. She still have this fabulous hop in her walk that I hope never ever goes away.
Life is good. Life is simple. I have so much to be thankful for.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Monday, November 29, 2010
LONG TIME NO POST
I know, I have been absent. It's been a very interesting 9 months. A lot has changed. A lot of change for the good, actually. I have been very hesitant to write at all, because of the things and who has access to this blog. I have nothing to hide though.
In March, AJ & I separated, and it was going to happen sooner or later. Our relationship had become very toxic & it was for the best that we have some time apart. I filed for divorce in April. Things are still pending.
In May, I found a small apartment for me and the kids. I had never been on my own, so I wasn't sure how I would or could afford my own place on my salary. I have been there ever since.
I have had a lot of ups & down, but my family & friends have been so increadably amazing. I can never repay them for what they have done. I have been apart from AJ for 8 months today, and let me tell you, my life is so much better. I am closer to my kids, my family, and most important God. I don't attend church often, but I have found God outside of church. Praying, and having the willingness has been the most important thing I have found. I have always had faith, but never put it to use. I have often wondered how I would get through the month with little to no money. God ALWAYS provides. Even at time when I am crying and have $5 in my bank account for 2 weeks and no gas in my car.
I hate that I have had a failed marriage, a second one, but at least I have my health & my kids. I do not lack for anything. I am not a failure as a person. I've been told to quit beating myself up over my past, and my bad decisions. It's okay, it will always be okay.
I am happy. I get lonely, but I am running again (ran 4.3 miles on Saturday), I am going back to school in the spring, and I have my meetings twice a week.
The kids are doing FANTASTIC, considering all they've been through. They are at a new school, and learning so much. They are tiny little spounges that keep learning and growing.
Gage turned 4 in August. He knows, days of the week, months of the year, all of his letters, sight reads, can spell, write all his letters, and is just becoming quite a little man. He is still quite attached to me, but he loves meeting new people and is still social.
Chloe, my little ham, is 2. She turned 2 in October. She is smart, smarter than Gage was at this age, funny, beautiful, and charms the pants off of everyone. She knows her ABC's, days of the week, a lot of sign language, thanks to yours truly. She loves pink & any kind of princess.
I wish I could think of more to write, but I'll leave it at that. :) Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I am ready for Christmas!!
Gage
Being Mimi
Chloe & her Cousin
In March, AJ & I separated, and it was going to happen sooner or later. Our relationship had become very toxic & it was for the best that we have some time apart. I filed for divorce in April. Things are still pending.
In May, I found a small apartment for me and the kids. I had never been on my own, so I wasn't sure how I would or could afford my own place on my salary. I have been there ever since.
I have had a lot of ups & down, but my family & friends have been so increadably amazing. I can never repay them for what they have done. I have been apart from AJ for 8 months today, and let me tell you, my life is so much better. I am closer to my kids, my family, and most important God. I don't attend church often, but I have found God outside of church. Praying, and having the willingness has been the most important thing I have found. I have always had faith, but never put it to use. I have often wondered how I would get through the month with little to no money. God ALWAYS provides. Even at time when I am crying and have $5 in my bank account for 2 weeks and no gas in my car.
I hate that I have had a failed marriage, a second one, but at least I have my health & my kids. I do not lack for anything. I am not a failure as a person. I've been told to quit beating myself up over my past, and my bad decisions. It's okay, it will always be okay.
I am happy. I get lonely, but I am running again (ran 4.3 miles on Saturday), I am going back to school in the spring, and I have my meetings twice a week.
The kids are doing FANTASTIC, considering all they've been through. They are at a new school, and learning so much. They are tiny little spounges that keep learning and growing.
Gage turned 4 in August. He knows, days of the week, months of the year, all of his letters, sight reads, can spell, write all his letters, and is just becoming quite a little man. He is still quite attached to me, but he loves meeting new people and is still social.
Chloe, my little ham, is 2. She turned 2 in October. She is smart, smarter than Gage was at this age, funny, beautiful, and charms the pants off of everyone. She knows her ABC's, days of the week, a lot of sign language, thanks to yours truly. She loves pink & any kind of princess.
I wish I could think of more to write, but I'll leave it at that. :) Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I am ready for Christmas!!
Gage
Being Mimi
Chloe & her Cousin
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Pics!
Gage got this for Christmas. He wasn't really sure of it right away, but he loves making 'houses & barns'
They love bath time! (Can you tell?)
CHEEEESE!!!
SNOW?!?!? In Texas? Yes, twice!
From December, but still cute! StefaniMarcus.com
My new Swimsuit! She is such a ham!
They love bath time! (Can you tell?)
CHEEEESE!!!
SNOW?!?!? In Texas? Yes, twice!
From December, but still cute! StefaniMarcus.com
My new Swimsuit! She is such a ham!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
New Job & Update
I keep forgetting to update, not that anyone reads. :P
I started my new job almost a month ago. It is going pretty well. I like the people and the job itself is relaxed but still interesting. I answer phones from students and they have the funniest questions or comments most days. I get a kick out of that.
Gage:
He has been challenging lately. He has been defiante and it has been really hard for me to get him under control. He is in the phase where everything is opposite of what you say. "You're dinner is not ready yet." "Yes it is." He wants me to snuggle with him at night. I do sometimes, but I feel if I do it every night he'll get used to it and I'll never sleep in my own bed.
Other than that he is a really fun kid. He is smart & loves Chloe...most of the time. He says the funniest things all the time too.
Chloe:
She is 15 months now and a ball of fun. She 'bee-bops' everywhere. That is what I call it. It's like she has a spring in her step. She is very sweet and has very wise eyes. She loves to snuggle and get this...she loves Daddy more than me. She went to him first yesterday, even though she saw me. I don't mind. I know it makes Adrean feel good. Gage never much cared for Adrean, so it's nice to have Chloe love him.
She is still nursing, a lot. :P Nights and weekends. We've been battling a mild stomach virus so she's upped her boo juice intake. She got it the worse and stayed home with Daddy last Friday.
Words she says:
Da - (daddy) --she says this the most. lol.
mama
ba (bite, ball, whatever context it applies to)
wa (walk)
boob
uh huh
no
bye bye
She does a lot of "ugh"ing.
Sign:
more
please
eat
waves
I haven't been that great at taking pictures lately so I have no new ones. Hopefully I can get some up soon.
I started my new job almost a month ago. It is going pretty well. I like the people and the job itself is relaxed but still interesting. I answer phones from students and they have the funniest questions or comments most days. I get a kick out of that.
Gage:
He has been challenging lately. He has been defiante and it has been really hard for me to get him under control. He is in the phase where everything is opposite of what you say. "You're dinner is not ready yet." "Yes it is." He wants me to snuggle with him at night. I do sometimes, but I feel if I do it every night he'll get used to it and I'll never sleep in my own bed.
Other than that he is a really fun kid. He is smart & loves Chloe...most of the time. He says the funniest things all the time too.
Chloe:
She is 15 months now and a ball of fun. She 'bee-bops' everywhere. That is what I call it. It's like she has a spring in her step. She is very sweet and has very wise eyes. She loves to snuggle and get this...she loves Daddy more than me. She went to him first yesterday, even though she saw me. I don't mind. I know it makes Adrean feel good. Gage never much cared for Adrean, so it's nice to have Chloe love him.
She is still nursing, a lot. :P Nights and weekends. We've been battling a mild stomach virus so she's upped her boo juice intake. She got it the worse and stayed home with Daddy last Friday.
Words she says:
Da - (daddy) --she says this the most. lol.
mama
ba (bite, ball, whatever context it applies to)
wa (walk)
boob
uh huh
no
bye bye
She does a lot of "ugh"ing.
Sign:
more
please
eat
waves
I haven't been that great at taking pictures lately so I have no new ones. Hopefully I can get some up soon.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas was awesome!
Gage had so much fun this year. He really believed Santa came and left him presents. We are on a limited budget so they each got one big gift and a few small things.
Gage received Hot Wheels & Chloe got her first Cabage Patch. Both loved them!
It snowed here on Christmas. The last time it snowed here was 80 some odd years ago. It's VERY RARE! But it was awesome!
Here are some pics to enjoy!
They are thrilled!
Gage & his toy:
Chloe's crazy hair!
Gage received Hot Wheels & Chloe got her first Cabage Patch. Both loved them!
It snowed here on Christmas. The last time it snowed here was 80 some odd years ago. It's VERY RARE! But it was awesome!
Here are some pics to enjoy!
They are thrilled!
Gage & his toy:
Chloe's crazy hair!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Almost Christmas
Chloe - she is starting to say words! LOVE IT! She says mamma, dadadadada, shoes, & teeth. She loves books, pretty bright toys, BABY DOLLS!, & boobie! She signs milk & book. She loves Gage & smiles each time she sees him after waking up.
She has also started voicing her wants. I tried to give her some cheerios yesterday and she squealed and pointed to the animal crackers. Ha. When did she get old enough for an opinion!?!?!
Gage - This kid is so funny. He says some of the funniest things. He usually makes people, besides me, laugh. So that counts as funny. He made the doctor & his teacher laugh. He loves school. He is the youngest in his class...being an August birthday, but is doing really well. He knows how to "read" his letters & numbers, even though he only does it for his teachers. He is very competative with the other boys so it helps him learn. I'm all for it. I am going to start him in BlastBall this spring. I think he'll have a lot of fun.
He is very strong willed, as usual. He does not listen and get to visit time out a lot because of it. It seems to not be working much, but when Daddy is home he doesn't like it when Daddy disciplines him.
He is getting very exciting for Christmas. He got into it some last year, but this year he is totally into it.
We got some snow last week. It only stuck for a few hours. Which in Texas is a HUGE deal! They loved to look out side at it.
The Christmas tree is up. I have ornaments about 1/2 way down because they would play with them all the time. haha.
She has also started voicing her wants. I tried to give her some cheerios yesterday and she squealed and pointed to the animal crackers. Ha. When did she get old enough for an opinion!?!?!
Gage - This kid is so funny. He says some of the funniest things. He usually makes people, besides me, laugh. So that counts as funny. He made the doctor & his teacher laugh. He loves school. He is the youngest in his class...being an August birthday, but is doing really well. He knows how to "read" his letters & numbers, even though he only does it for his teachers. He is very competative with the other boys so it helps him learn. I'm all for it. I am going to start him in BlastBall this spring. I think he'll have a lot of fun.
He is very strong willed, as usual. He does not listen and get to visit time out a lot because of it. It seems to not be working much, but when Daddy is home he doesn't like it when Daddy disciplines him.
He is getting very exciting for Christmas. He got into it some last year, but this year he is totally into it.
We got some snow last week. It only stuck for a few hours. Which in Texas is a HUGE deal! They loved to look out side at it.
The Christmas tree is up. I have ornaments about 1/2 way down because they would play with them all the time. haha.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Preschool
Gage started preschool last Tuesday. I decided it was time for him to spend time away from me. He has deaf ears to mommy. He still is not listening and can be mean, but he loves school. He gets to take his lunch which is really fun for him.
He goes twice a week, 9-2 and sleeps for a couple hours after that.
He was regressing a bit with potty training, but since going to school is back on track.
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